Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Marriage that Honors Him


Matthew 19:1-9

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)



19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019:1%20-%209&version=NIV1984)



Divorce, this is a subject that many try to avoid.  In our society today it has become an accepted practice and I have to wonder if it is much like in the days of Moses when it was allowed because the people’s hearts were hard.  I believe many hearts are being hardened these days.



There are four things I want to look at in regard to the passage for today.  1.  Leadership  2.  Unity  3.  Hearts

 4.  Permission.

1.        The first thing I noticed in this scripture is that it is the man that permits the divorce.  It is the man that is to leave his family and cleave to his wife.  I notice that Jesus doesn’t say that the man and woman are too but that the man should.  I believe this was intentional as we look at the design of the man being the leader of the home.  The ultimate responsibility is directed to the man.   We always say there are two sides to every divorce but in this passage the responsibility lies with the man.  If the man is the head of the house anything that goes on in that house is his responsibility.  That was the design that God made from the beginning but how many of us accept that and adhere to that today?

2.       The two shall become one.  Those are powerful words are they not?  How do you separate your own body?  When two people are united through Christ and they truly become one, there is nothing that can separate them.  Does becoming one mean that we always agree with one another?  If so, I am in trouble because I don’t always agree with myself!  I believe becoming one means that we respect one another in such a way that nothing could ever separate us from each other.  I have been told that a man would rather see the actions of respect than to be told, “I love you”.   Although women like to be loved, I think they want to be respected too.  How do you show one another respect?  For men, it may be that we women allow him to be the leader that he was designed to be.  I get disgusted at commercials and TV shows that paint the picture of an incompetent man.  My man is my source of strength and encouragement (along with God).  When he is hurt or sick, much of my strength is gone.  I believe God designed him to be that for me.  Respect for the woman is that the man sees her and only her.  That he works hard to keep his eyes off of other woman and directed only at her.  That he sees her as beautiful no matter how fat she may get or how many wrinkles she might have.  When we are one with each other, Christ needs to be there too. 

3.       I know people who have been divorced prior to accepting Christ as their personal Savior or who were not walking with the Lord in their marriages.  They are now Christians and they are married to Christians, living a life holy and acceptable to Him.  I believe this is a beautiful thing and one that is honored by God.  Prior to being a Christian they made decisions that were not based on the Word of God.  Their hearts, although not completely hardened were not turned towards God.  Now that they have hearts for God, the words of Jesus need to be adhered to.  I believe that their past is the past and they need to live their lives now according to the will of the Father.  If we truly have a relationship with the Lord and our spouse does too then I do not believe divorce will be an option in our lives.  If we are truly one with Christ why would we divorce?  Divorce amongst those who attend church has risen over the years which concerns me and make me wonder what we are teaching in our churches.  Are we teaching how to grow in Christ?  Or, how to invite God into our marriages? Are the older women teaching the younger women how to respect their husbands as leaders of the home?  Are our men teaching the younger men how to love their wife and how to be a good spiritual leader in the home?

4.       When was permission granted for divorce?  When the man’s heart was hardened.  I had to think about how Joseph was going to divorce the woman he was pledged to be married to after she had conceived through the Holy Spirit.  Joseph had a visit from an angel and his heart was not hardened.  He chose to care for her and marry her and she gave birth to the Lord Jesus Christ.  What would have happened if his heart would have been hard?

Divorce is a difficult subject.  We all know people who have been divorced and all of their stories are different but one key theme that runs through them, someone had a hardened heart and there was not a true communion between each other and with the Lord.  Divorce is another sin of humans that God will forgive but it is not in His best plan for our lives.

As you seek Him and find Him, if you have a spouse share His love together with each other.  Invite Him into your home to dwell you and your family.  For those of you who have not yet married a few words of advice for you as well.  Be sure that both of you are willing to invite Him into your marriage.  Begin that relationship with Him together as a couple.  Then once you are married it will be a part of your lives.  Be sure to keep your bodies holy refraining from sexual intimacy until after marriage.  May God bless each and every marriage that places Him in the center of the marriage.



Seeking Him with all my heart,



Sheila


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