Acts 7:30-41
New International
Version (NIV)
30 “After forty years had
passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the
desert near Mount Sinai. 31 When he saw this, he was
amazed at the sight. As he went over to get a closer look, he heard the Lord
say: 32 ‘I am the God of your
fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’[a] Moses trembled with fear and did not dare to look.
33 “Then the Lord said to
him, ‘Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.
34 I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I
have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will
send you back to Egypt.’[b]
35 “This is the same Moses
they had rejected with the words, ‘Who made you ruler and judge?’ He was sent
to be their ruler and deliverer by God himself, through the angel who appeared
to him in the bush. 36 He led them out of Egypt
and performed wonders and signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea and for forty years in
the wilderness.
37 “This is the Moses who
told the Israelites, ‘God will raise up for you a prophet like me from your own
people.’[c] 38 He was in the assembly
in the wilderness, with the angel who spoke to him on Mount Sinai, and with our
ancestors; and he received living words to pass on to us.
39 “But our ancestors
refused to obey him. Instead, they rejected him and in their hearts turned back
to Egypt. 40 They told Aaron, ‘Make
us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who led us out of
Egypt—we don’t know what has happened to him!’[d] 41 That was the time they
made an idol in the form of a calf. They brought sacrifices to it and reveled
in what their own hands had made.
Forty years
after he ran from Egypt feeling rejected, alone, an outcast from his own people
and feeling as though he was utterly a failure, he left. He found a new life in a land far away and
far different than the life he once lived.
He made it work, had a family and simply moved on. Do you ever think Moses might have wondered
what it could have been like if he had stayed?
Do you think he might have wondered why in the world God allowed him to
live when it looked hopeless that he would ever get to help his people. Moses was born and lived with a purpose and
when he tried to fulfill it only to be rejected, he felt like a failure. Was he?
I am pretty sure
that he realized that he was the only Israelite man that was still living of
his age. The same people that raised
Moses murdered all other Israelite boys his age. He was definitely a miracle baby. I am sure he probably thought, “Why did God
save me if it were not to help my people in times of distress?” When the Israelite was being harassed by the
Egyptian, he felt it his duty to kill the Egyptian to protect his own. He must of felt betrayed when his own people
rejected him when he tried to help the two Israelites resolve their conflict. I am sure he wondered why God ever allowed
him to live after feeling this rejection.
His only way to any peace was to get out of the situation. He felt that he had messed up and there was
no way that he could ever be used of God again.
Then, God called
him. God told him of the task he had set
before him. I often wish that God would
appear to me like he did to Moses in that burning bush. I seem to think that I need this clear
picture that, without a shadow of a doubt is from God. It is not my thoughts but the very words of
God. Oh, wait, I have a Bible that has
His words all through it. Yet, I still
seem to not hear what He is saying. I
used to think that Moses was crazy for arguing with God but I do it all the
time. I do not know how many times I
have said that it is the end, that I give up, that there is no way that my
people will ever accept me.
I find it
confusing and quite disturbing that God has placed me in a location where
others seem to overlook the gifts that God has given me. I have often wondered why God saved me from a
bicycle wreck while my sister was taken.
I have never been able to figure out why, this shy little girl was left
here while the outgoing, vivacious child, who let everyone know how much she
loved Jesus, was taken. The one that
used to talk for me because I did not want others to know that I could not pronounce my name correctly. I have never quite understood why I was left
and she was taken. Then, when I, like
Moses feel rejected, I begin to just want to run away and hide. I feel that I am worthless and better off in
a land far away. But, God has never
taken me or allowed be to go to a land far away. He has kept me in the place where I feel
rejected time and time again. The place
that others do not see my worth or value.
Which in turn causes me distress and the question comes back, why, why,
why?
I am nothing
like Moses but I think I kind of know how he must have felt. I am much like Moses in that I question
God. I have not seen Him in a burning
bush that was not consumed by fire but I have seen Him through the Word of
God. I have felt His presence, His touch
of peace, and His hug. I know that He is
real in my heart and in my head. Yet, I
beat myself up because I feel that I have done something wrong and that is why
He is not using me. I seem to forget
time and time again that His ways are better than my ways.
Many wonder why
I don’t just bounce back and enjoy life.
I am trying but sometimes my thoughts overtake me and I go back into
wondering mode. I know that God has a
plan. I may have to wonder for a little
while more. I really don’t think at 80,
I want to begin a journey of leading but if it takes that long and God wants to
use me in that manner, then He will do so.
He has proven time and time again that His ways are better than man’s
ways because His ways are always correct.
As I seek Him, I
am learning to trust Him more and more.
In order to trust Him fully I am learning that I should not beat myself
up when I think I have failed, it is just God doing a work within me to help me
trust Him more.
Seeking Him with
all my heart,
Sheila
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